22 Years Later . . .

I believe that I have posted before that I am a low maintenance friend. I don't expect too much, too often of the friends I surround myself with, and I prefer to have friends that are low maintenance as well.

Although I try to give 100% to the people in my life, I oftentimes just don't have it in me. Life gets in the way. The people I hear about that can juggle work, home, friendships, aging parents, etc . . . with ease totally blow my mind. I have enough trouble trying to find my own socks in the morning, never mind throwing hubby, kids, parents and all my friends into the mix. So, quite frequently and unfortunately, it is the friends that end up taking the back seat.

I bring this up because I guess I have always been like this and I have throughout my life let friendships slip away because of the simple fact that I was just too busy, I'd call tomorrow or some other relatively lame excuse.

I recently joined Facebook and people who were near and dear to me (and some that were not so near and dear) have come out of the woodwork. I have found people that I often think about, people I haven't thought about in years, but were still an integral part of shaping who I am today and people that I haven't thought about in years and pretty much still don't care to think about. :) It has been an amazing ride!

Anyway, over the past month or so, 4 women who I went to high school with - 3 of which I haven't seen since our graduation day 22 years ago - have been chatting on Facebook. It started with the casual "We should get together for drinks" and slowly turned into an online argument as to why none of us had actually set anything up. Needless to say, we guilted the most social of the 5 of us to name a time and place. And she did. Amazingly, we were all available and agreed to be there.

So last night, 22 years later, we met. As far as I am concerned, they all pretty much look exactly the same - not even a day older than our graduation day. They are all such beautiful women and it was like we had never been apart. We ate, we drank, we laughed and we even cried. It was so good to see them. It made me wonder what it was that made us go our separate ways with not even so much as a glance back all those years ago. Again, I guess life just got in the way.

After5 hours of catching up and reminiscing, we parted ways. About halfway to our cars, we all seemed to turn around at the exact same moment and all blurted out the same thing. "We need to do this again. SOON!" And I knew we all meant it, and I know that we will. And I vowed to myself at that moment to Never. Ever. Let life get in the way of my friendship with these beautiful, wonderful women again. Not even for 1 year, never mind 22.

I'd Rather Be A Pessimist

A very dear friend is always telling me that I have to be more optimistic.  He says that I always see the glass half empty.  I was thinking about this recently and decided that I shall remain the pessimist until the day I die.  Why? You ask?  Because it is much more fun and satisfying to be a pessimist than an optimist.  These are some of the reasons why:

I always hope for the best, but expect the worst.  That way if even a little piece of whatever is happening goes right, I am always pleasantly surprised.

When I don't expect things to go my way and they do, it is one of the most gratifying experiences. Kind of like finding that $100 bill in your pocket from last winter. 

If I don't presume the best from people, it always makes me smile when I meet someone that is interesting, quirky or fun.  

If I don't anticipate simple courtesies from strangers, I am thrilled to have them happen (ie. someone holding the door for me or simply smiling when we pass).

I find that when I don't expect others to help me carry some of my burdens, this is when they always step up to the plate and let me unload.

I can still smile and be pleasant while being a pessimist.  Being a pessimist DOES NOT preclude a miserable persona and existance.

And Lastly . . .   WHEN MY GLASS IS HALF EMPTY, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE THERE WILLING TO FILL IT! :)

So there you have it.  The joys of pessimism.  Try it . . . It's not so bad.

The Boring Happenings in Suburbia

I have been terribly lax about posting lately.  I don't know if it is because of sheer laziness, I'm too busy enjoying the sunshine and heat of the short summer in New England, or if it is just that I truly have nothing left to say.  I am hoping that it is not the latter of the three because then I am really in a sad state of affairs.  I just ask that you all bear with me and my lack of enthusiasm for posting for awhile and keep checking back because who knows, there could be one day that I muse about something amazingly profound and wouldn't you be so upset if you missed it. :)

Anyway, things in the life of my lovely little world as of late are as follows:

Beatrice is settling in nicely.  We are still so in love with her.  Still working on house training, which she seems to be getting the hang of.  The only problem we are running into is that we have 5 steps on our front porch leading up to our house and her tiny little legs can't quite make the length of them, so we are still carrying her up and down them until she grows a bit more.

She is also VERY VERY nippy when she is excited and wants to play.  We find ourselves constantly saying "Ouch, No, Stop, etc." You know, all the things the trainers, books and vets tell you to say.  We have swatted her nose, turned our backs, and even sprayed her with water.  Unfortunately, she thinks that everything we say or do is a signal that we are playing.  Any other ideas out there?  Please let me know if you have one.  The good news is that her outbursts are very short-lived.  She gets tired easily and it isn't long before she needs her nap.  

She has settled into the routine of snuggling up with dear hubby every evening about 7:00 - 7:30 pm.  I have to wake her up about 9:00 or 10:00 to make her pee (which she is not very happy about) so she can get through the night until 6:00 am.  Not so bad for 12 weeks old.

Dear little cherubs are still working on their chores (paid and unpaid) and still looking for the other jobs to make some extra cash.  They have even offered to buy me lunch on a few occasions, which is good, because as you all know, I have gone completely broke paying for the jobs they are doing.  

Mr. P is doing well.  He was reprimanded the other day at physical therapy because apparently she thinks he is overdoing it.  I feel bad because he is SSOOO done with being hurt and walking with the cane.  He can be a very impatient man.  My list of things I need to do for him is getting a little bit shorter which has come as a happy relief to me.  He has a doc appointment next week, so keep your fingers crossed for good news about his bone growth.  

I am very excited because my beloved nieces and nephew, and older sis and hubby are coming to town for a visit next week.  I can't wait to see them.  It has been so long.  Hoping the weather is good so we can have some outdoor fun in the pool and maybe a trip to Prudence.  

Other than that, the life of the suburban housewife has been pretty mundane and I have had nothing really great to muse or complain about, which I guess is a good thing.  Maybe next week.  

The Simplest Things

It always amazes me how the simplest things like little actions and words can make such a profound impact on or even change your life and view of things.  This year, I have found that I have become a little more aware of all those little things in my life.  A certain look from someone, a brief sentiment or statement, words read in a book or a kind act from a stranger.  

I don't know if Mr. P's accident triggered some or all of this awareness or if maybe I'm just growing up (NAH!), but I can say most definitively that one VERY BIG life altering statement was - "Perry had an accident".  In and of themselves, those words don't mean too much - did he spill something, break something (not including body parts), have a little fall? . . . but in the mind and emotion of a wife and mother, those four words can bring complete hysteria.  

I guess that going through the last 6 months has been not only life-altering, but a major test of love, commitment and faith between me and Mr. P.  I think of all the things that Mr. P could not do when he first came home from "his accident" and what I did for him without a thought or care.  I remember worrying about our life and if we would actually make it through OK.  Financially, emotionally, physically . . . and wondering what it would be like if we didn't.  

I also thought about our wedding vows - hoping that there was some fine print that made them null and void in a situation like this :), I thought about when we were dating and carefree and how over the years it seemed like more and more responsibilities just kept piling up for us, I thought about how we have grown and changed since that first date, and I thought about how I really, truly don't think that I know any 2 people who could possibly know each other better, inside and out then Mr. P knows me and I know Mr. P and still love each other so madly, deeply, truly.  

I thought about how I would demand payback for all I did to take care of dear hubby and then it hit me.  You see Mr. P has ALWAYS taken care of me.  From our very first date.  From the little stuff to the big.  Cooking for me, always thinking of me in a store or coffee shop and bringing something home he'll know I like, taking care of all the stuff he knows I hate to do, really listening to me when he knows that I am upset.  From the secret looks and phrases to always knowing how to get a smile.  

And, when it truly counted, Mr. P did for me, exactly what I have done for him - he took care of me when I couldn't.  After the birth of our son, when I was very sick and wouldn't let the nurses touch me, when I had a little (or a lot) too much to drink and needed to hug the toilet during the night, when I had the flu or allergies or just a simple cold, when all I needed was a shoulder to lean on, an ear to complain to, or just a hug.  Simply put, there is no payback.  This is our life, for better and for worse.  This is marriage and parenthood and partnership.  

So after some reflection, I guess that the very first, simplest, most life-altering statement I've ever heard was, "Would you like to go out with me?"  And I wouldn't have it any other way!

I love you Mr. P