Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Apologies All Around

I was chastised yesterday for my last post.  I was told that it was very mean and that I should not say those things about my child.  They make her feel bad.  

I apologize to those I may have offended, but you need to understand that both children of mine, as well as dear hubby and I both, have a very unusual and a little bit dark, sense of humor.  I did however, take the chastising to heart and felt very bad about my post all day.  So, I decided to go straight to the source and approached youngest cherub after work.  

I started by apologizing to her and asking her if it hurt her feelings or if she was upset by my post or by the way we speak about her and her clumsiness or quirky behaviors.  I also told her that I say many of these things in jest and I thought that she knew we were kidding when we call her "Cyclone Mary" or make fun of her clumsiness, etc. . .  But, if she was upset or doesn't like it and it makes her feel bad, then we will certainly stop and never say or do those things again.  

The following conversation is what ensued:

Littlest Cherub:  "What Post?"
Me:  "The one I wrote about you and the nurse on the first day of school.
LC: "You wrote a post about me going to the nurse?"
Me: "You haven't been reading my blog?"
LC: "Mom, it's really boring.  I haven't read it in a really long time."

So, I showed littlest cherub the blog post about her and the school nurse.

LC:  "Mom, you left out the part where I told you that I got to go barefoot almost all afternoon."
Me:  "I didn't think that part was important.  I was talking about how you always go to the nurse and how aggravated I get about it.  I was also, talking about how clumsy you are and how I make fun of that, even if it's in my own head.  I was told that it is very mean and that I probably hurt your feelings.  I'm SO sorry, I won't say things like that anymore."
LC:  "But I am clumsy.  Even I know that.  That's why we have the 'Body In Space' code."
Me:  "Well, I know, but I feel bad that dad and I are always making jokes about it."
LC:  "Mom, if you didn't make jokes about it, how would I know you really love me.  It's what you do."
Me:  "I guess.  So you're not sad about it?"
LC: "No, but if that's all you have to write about, I think you should try to get some friends."
Me:  "Great, I'll keep that in mind, thanks."
Me:  "By the way, you know we don't love Beatrice best, don't you?"
LC:  "Yeah, I know, but I do."       "Just Kidding Mom!"

So, again, if I have offended anyone, please accept my sincerest apologies.  But please know, that Mr. P, JP, Miss Samantha and I have a very unusual familial relationship.  Our teasing and jesting only means we love each other and that love is most definitively, pure, true and unconditional.  I have never meant to lead anyone to believe that we do not adore our children.  The little idiosyncrasies and quirks that we each use to fodder our teasing only make each and every one of us a little more lovable and if we ever stopped, I truly believe our children would then believe we have stopped adoring them.  

As for littlest cherub,  I am pleased to say that she is just fine with the post, but apparently thinks I need a life.  So, feeling a little better about the fact that I have not just added to the numerous life events and let-downs that my children will be in therapy for in their adult lives, I leave you with this . . . every family shows their love in their own ways.  

For us, it is through digs and jokes and a little bit of dark humor.  My kids get it, I get it and so does Mr. P.  Again, as I leave you, I will be thinking of something a little nasty to greet Mr. P with at the door when he gets home from work . . wouldn't want him to think I don't love him. :)


lisagh said...

What a funny and endearing exchange between you and your little cyclone!