The Holidays Have Arrived

It amazes me how time gets away from you.  Sometimes, I am in awe of how slowly the days pass, while others seem to whizz by in mere minutes.  This time of year is always of the latter variety for me.  I actually was amazed at how long it has been since my last post when I opened up the dear old web today.  

Let's see, since my last post, our small brood has successfully celebrated Thanksgiving Day, semi-successfully attended and sang at the 2 Chorus Concerts for the Middle School, sat through 2 Parent/Teacher Conferences (which by the way were surprisingly and happily wonderful news), attended 2 consecutive puppy classes and did quite well, celebrated (yet again) eldest cherubs actual Birth Day, attended a birthday dinner for a dear friend, decorated the house for the holidays (the tree is a bone of contention with hubby, myself and children right now - but that is a story for later - maybe Monday's post?) and Little Miss B has started a career as model extraordinaire for UP COUNTRY pet products (adorable collars, leads, bowls, beds, treats and other accessories - rumor has it that they will be producing belts and flip-flops for the ladies soon too).  

We have also written, printed, copied and mailed 103 Christmas Cards.  We are doing well, right on schedule this year.  

Mr. P and I send so many Christmas Cards because it has become somewhat of a tradition since the birth of eldest cherub to do some sort of crazy, silly or nonsensical photo with an even sillier, nonsensical caption.  People love them because they break the monotony of the same old lovely family photo everyone else sends.  Each year, we have friends of family, friends of friends and even random strangers call or approach us and ask to be put on our card list.  It gets a little longer every year.  The biggest problem with this is that I think Mr. P and I are now actually out of ideas.  Please let me know if you or anyone out there has a good idea for something different for a Christmas photo - always looking for something interesting.  

I digress, anyway, last year, as the cards rolled in, I was particularly interested in the ones that we received that had the rundown on friends' and acquaintances' lives.  It makes me laugh, because it seems to me that everyone that sends those "newsletters" has such amazing children, spouses and lives.  Family members are traveling abroad, out saving the world, making millions and living the grand lives.  Do these people really exist??  I want to ask them, first of all, I wonder who is really interested in EVERYTHING that has happened in your family life all year?  And second of all, whose life is always coming up roses?  No one's I tell you, and if they are saying it is - THEY ARE LYING!

I decided, upon reading those letters, that I was sending one too.  So this year, I started it in January . . . only with a twist . . . I was going to label it "ALL THE THINGS THAT PISSED ME OFF IN 2008", only I figured that would send Dear Old Mother over the edge (I send them to her friends too and I wouldn't want to bring that kind of embarrassment on our family) . . .  So instead, I wrote a poem and labeled it "THE 12 MONTHS OF CHRISTMAS".  It is as follows:

BECAUSE OF MISFORTUNE

BAD LUCK & DREAD

THIS YEAR BRINGS NO PHOTO

BUT A POEM INSTEAD

LATE IN MONTH 1 

MR P FELL

HIS SPILL WAS QUITE BAD

WE THOUGHT HE'D NEVER GET WELL

LEAVING THE HOSPITAL

MR P ON HIS BACK 

ARRIVED AT THE CAR 

TO A BIG WINDSHIELD CRACK

THE DISHWASHER & DRYER

IN MONTH 2 THEY DID BREAK

THE DOWNSPOUT WAS HANGING 

THE RAIN MADE A LAKE

MONTH 3 WAS THE CHINA HUTCH

IT FELL JUST FOR KICKS

THE MAILBOX GOT SMASHED

IT COULDN'T BE FIXED

OPENED THE POOL 

IN APRIL TO SWIM

THE HEATER BROKE DOWN

ON IT'S OWN VENGEFUL WHIM

MONTH 5 BROUGHT US TERMITES

THEY CREATED A TOWN

3 DAYS OF POISON 

SO THE HOUSE WOULDN'T FALL DOWN

MONTH 6 IT WAS PROBLEMS

WITH A BIG BROKEN TRUCK

NO ONE WOULD TAKE IT 

JUST MORE BAD LUCK

JULY BROUGHT US BEATRICE

SHE JOINED OUR SMALL BROOD

WHAT A GREAT PET

SHE NIPPED, BIT AND CHEWED

OUR HOUSE IN MONTH 8

STILL DIDN'T IMPROVE

IT GOT TO A POINT

I THOUGHT WE SHOULD MOVE

IN MONTH 9 IT WAS MEDICAL BILLS

THAT MADE OUR HEADS FOG

NOT FOR DEAR HUBBY

BUT FOR OUR DEAR DOG

IN MONTH 10 OUR HOT WATER

OH, IT DID FLOOD

THE BASEMENT WAS SOAKED

THE GARAGE FULL OF MUD

MONTH 10 ALSO BROUGHT

A SICK PAPA SCARE

A TYPICAL WAY

TO END THIS STRANGE YEAR

NOVEMBER WAS TIME

FOR A NEW FRIDGE SO NICE

BUT ALAS, IT WAS BROKEN

AND WOULDN'T MAKE ICE

WITH ALL THAT WENT WRONG

AS 'O8 SLOWLY PASSED

WE GREET THE YEARS END

WITH THE SIGH, "OH, AT LAST!"

MONTH 12 OF '08 

THE END IS IN SIGHT

IN 2009, WE KNOW

ALL WILL BE RIGHT!

Please note:  I did add a little disclaimer to avoid the need for medical services for Dear Mother and Father.  It says -

FOR ALL WHO READ THIS

PLEASE TAKE IT IN JEST

FOR ALL THAT WENT WRONG

OUR LIFE'S STILL THE BEST!

So, there you have it - the first REALITY BASED Christmas Poem.  

No, really, I wish all who stop by a truly wonderful and blessed Holiday - and always remember to make it at least a little bit fun!

Till Later . . .