UUGGGHHHHHHHH

RAIN, RAIN GO AWAY!

That's all folks . . . 

How To Be Annoying In An Elevator

Came across this today while surfing online (it is from listology.com) - it made me laugh out loud - probably because I was trying to imagine myself ACTUALLY doing any of these things. Hope it makes you laugh too.

How To Be Annoying In An Elevator

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

Whenever someone enters, greet them by saying "Welcome Aboard!"

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming in if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "Won't ride an elevator that's not feng shui."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a light.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Elevators were practically MADE for riverdance!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion.

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

Ask someone "Guess what?" When they respond with "What?," say "Guess what?" again. Repeat until the person responds angrily, then say "I was only asking a question." Then start talking loudly to someone else in the elevator about "How some people really need to learn how to control their temper."

Ask someone if they have an extra pair of underwear with them. Tell them it's just because you have a disorder that causes uncontrollable bowel movements whenever you stop or start moving suddenly, and you forgot to pack your "elevator panties."

Sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, muttering to yourself in a loop "And when it finishes going down it goes up and people get on but when they get on they always get off and the ones getting off are never the ones getting on and the doors open but they always close but when the doors close no one gets on and it goes down and when it finishes going down it goes up..."

I Won - 2 Things - What a Great Day!!!

First off, I'd like to say thank you so much to Pretty Personal Gifts.blogspot for sending me the One Lovely Blog Award.  Not that I really deserve it, because I feel like I have been such a bad blogger as of late.  But I appreciate the gesture anyway . . .   And just for that, I'd like to put in a little plug for her amazing retail store, Pretty Personal Gifts, they carry so many great and unique things for everyone, from babies and pets to friends and family.  And everything is personalized of course, and what's better than that???

So anyway, here are the apparent rules:

1.  Accept the award and post it on your blog, along with the name and link of the person

    who sent it to you.

2.  Pass the award to 15 other bloggers that you have newly discovered, then contact them

      to let them know you have passed it along. 

I'm not really sure that I have 15 "NEWLY" discovered blogs that I read, but here are my picks for passing along this special award.  Some new, others not so new (all newer than most):

All Things Southern & Preppy

Grove Gals

Hip Hostess

Lauren Nicole Gifts

Lilly P Wannabe

Musings of a Housewife

Pink Cupcake

Pink Is My Signature Color

Preppy Mama

Preppy Princess

Southern Starlet

Summer in Newport

Sweet Tea Diaries

The View From My Shoes

2 Preppy Girls

These are all "Great Reads" - Good shopping tips, amazing giveaways and always interesting stories.  Thank you ladies for giving me a lift every time I read your stuff!!

And lastly, Thank You to Lauren Nicole Gifts - I won the Vera Bradley Giveaway and I can't wait to get it.  She always does the greatest giveaways with amazing things to win.  Keep at it, you give us all something to hope for.  :)

Ode to Allergies

New England's weather

Continues to jest

Pollen abounds

So clogged I can't rest

Cold, snow then some rain

Now trees are in bloom

"When will this end?"

I think, full of gloom.

I tell Mr. P

I hate living here

He smiles that smile

"When we retire, my dear."

Retirement seems

So far, far away

How can I live here

For many more days?

Summer it seems 

Gets shorter and less

I spend less time sunbathing

And more such a mess

Been wanting to write

And catch up with my blog

But my head feels heavy 

My body's a log

Can't think, see or smell

Nose drippy and red

All day and at night

I just need my bed

My eyes are so itchy

My ears and throat too

My chest is a rock

My throat hurts - that's new

Oh Allergies, why?

Why, torment me so?

Just when I smiled

To see no more snow

So trees, grass and flowers

I implore you this day

Please finish your blooming

So I can come out and play

Maybe tomorrow 

I'll be able to write

To think and to spell

Without such a fight

But now my dear blog friends

I leave you alone

I'm clogged and I'm cranky 

And need to go home

So those who have allergies

And suffer like me

I'll think of you often

As I look at the trees

Take meds and home remedies

And patiently wait

For blooming to finish

To again feel great

With that I will now

Bid you all sweet Adieu

When allergies end

I will again speak to you

A Good Mother

A Good Mother . . . 

Is Strict

Especially compared to "everyone else's mother"

She expects FULL potential and won't settle for anything less

Is Soft

Generous with praise when she catches her children doing something right

She feels and shares happiness and pain EVERY DAY of her children's lives

Is the resident Cook, Cleaning Lady, Laundress

She provides a balanced diet, a roof over her children's heads and clean sheets to crawl into at night without expecting to be appreciated

Directs her children along the right path

Yet provides a bottomless well of forgiveness and beacon of light when they wander down the wrong one 

Is Quick to go "Without" 

So her children can have what they need

Provides a Soft Lap, Strong Back, Sympathetic Ears and Loving Arms

Loves Unconditionally

It need not be acquired and often when undeserved

Speaks from Experience, Wisdom, Love and Hope

And sometimes with silence

Cares how her children turn out

And doesn't just wait for them to get out.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.  ~Washington Irving

My mother is all things and more.  She has shown me that it is possible to love truly, deeply, unconditionally.  She has been my Cheerleader, Guidance Counselor, and sometimes my Punching Bag.  She has not only been there for me all my life, but she has welcomed all that I have brought home with open arms and limited judgement.  

I cannot express how Thankful I am for my Mother.  

I can only hope that I have turned into the woman she has dreamt of me being and that I can be half of the Mother to my Cherubs that she has been to me.

I Love You Mom

31 Days of Giveaways

Fantabulously Frugal is hosting 31, yes 31 days of amazing Giveaways. Click here to check them all out and enter - as well as learn about some great deals that are out there right now.

Giveaways Galore

If simplicity in style is your thing, then check out this link.  The Hip Hostess is hosting a Giveaway with Gems by Em.  Head on over and leave your comment to enter.  While you are there, make sure to check out the Gems by Em Etsy Shop and see all the other beautiful pieces she has to offer. This Giveaway ends May 31, winners will be announced on June 2.

Check out these beads!  

The Giveaway Diva is doing a Giveaway from Luccicare Lampwork.  These glass beads are not only gorgeous, but there are so many to choose from as well.  The best part is that most of them are under $18.00.  If you win, you get to pick the bead you want and she will throw in a free surprise gift as well.  So if there are any of you girls out there that love your Pandoras or Troll Beads, be sure to check this Giveaway out.  Click here for all the details.  Giveaway ends May 25.

Head on over to coupon-center.com and enter this Giveaway.  She handmakes some of the most beautiful jewelry and this month's winner will get a Chakra Pendant & Bracelet.  There are seven beads in a heart shape and each glass bead represents a color of the rainbow.  How neat.  No rush on this one.  Giveaway is all month, ending May 31.

New site I found!  If You Could See What I See is doing a crazy Giveaway!  What is cooler than waterproof notepaper?  I think perhaps, Nothing!  She mentions jotting down your notes and lists in the shower, but think of how useful it will be for boaters and beachers (is that a word?) and people who like to sit in the rain.  Click here to get the info and rules - by the way, there are tons of ways to get extra entries on this one.  Giveaway ends May 11.

Check out the great giveaway from Magnolias,  Marriage and Manhattan from Not Soap, Radio.  All the rules are there, as well as some great images of what you can win and other fun stuff.  Hurry over, Giveaway ends May 9.

She is also doing a Purely Elegant Giveaway!  Below are just 2 of my favorite items.  This Giveaway ends May 6

Sweet Tea Diaries is having a Finders Keepers Jewelry Giveaway.  What great stuff they have! From Silver to Gems, you name it.  Click here for info on entering.  

And if you don't want to wait or take the chance that you won't win, head directly over to Finders Keepers Jewelry and place your own order.  Use code DESIGNER when you check out and get 10% off your order.  But hurry before the coupon expires!   This Giveaway ends May 8.

The Right Thing To Say

Mr. P and I were having a conversation about one of the lovely blogs I have found recently and was reading. I was telling him that she had 2 children VERY far apart in age. This got us discussing friends and family members with same.

As most of our conversations usually do, this one took a quite circuitous route through many, many topics - from age difference in siblings, how old is too old to have children, how many children is enough, etc, etc, etc, just to name a few. It ended up landing upon the topic of accidental pregnancy. You see, Eldest Cherub was not planned. I mean, it's not that we didn't want children ever, but the timing was pretty bad.

Mr. P and I got married relatively young - especially by today's standards. I was 22, he was 25. That is pretty young, considering every 22 year old I see now looks like a BABY to me. We were just starting out in our respective "adulthoods" and we were enjoying life to the fullest.

About 1 year into our matrimonial bliss, I decided that I wanted to quit my job and go back to school -- full-time. Poor Mr. P. He was just starting out with his own Photography Studio and being self-employed and trying to drum up business . . . you know how it goes. But he never batted an eye. "If that's what you want to do, you should do it. We'll figure it out. We'll be OK. We'll make it work"

God Bless Him! So I did exactly that. Within 2 months, I was not only unemployed, but stacking a pile of college bills upon him. Thank God for Dear Mother and Father, they told us that because it was for my "Education", they would help. And "HELP" they did. They paid my tuition and many other incidentals, leaving Mr. P and I with only a few of the smaller expenses. But they were still expenses and Mr. P was still trying to make his business grow. But we were OK. We did it, we figured it out, we made it work.

Then one snowy January evening, Mr. P came home and had a look on his face I had never seen before. Something was wrong. His largest account had closed down, gone bankrupt. Kaput. Finished. His LARGEST paying client. "I'll quit school and go back to work." "No, you really want this, we'll be OK - it's temporary and we'll figure it out, we'll make it work." So I stayed in school, and we were OK, we figured it out, we made it work.

And then IT happened, as January turned into February and February slowly passed . . . I realized it. "OH MY GOD!" Panic "WHAT DAY IS IT?" Panic. "I'M LATE!" Major panic.
"WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?" (You can see what a calm and clear thinker I am in a crisis) So out I went and bought not 1, but 4 pregnancy tests and lo and behold, they all came out positive. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. And now I had to tell Mr. P.

I remember thinking, "This guy is going to be so pissed he married me. First I quit my job and lose half our income, then I sack a pile of bills on him for school just as he loses his largest client, and now I'm PREGNANT!" I was 24. Mr. P, an elderly 27. But in true Mr. P fashion, he was elated, thrilled. "This is great! Are you sure? When did you take the test? Why didn't you tell me? I'm so happy . . . " "HELLO! Did you not hear what I just said? I. AM. PREGNANT. WITH A BABY!" "No, I thought you were pregnant with a goat . . . of course I heard you. A BABY! WOW! Unbelievable, this is so great." "Um, I'm glad you're so happy, but I'm not working, you just lost a LOT of your income - babies are expensive . . . " etc, etc, etc. And do you know what he said? "I know, it will be tough, but we'll be OK. We'll figure it out. We'll make it work." And we did . . .

So this was where our conversation ended up - the memories of finding out we were pregnant with Eldest Cherub. And apparently, Eldest Cherub heard most of it. I say this, because he quietly entered the room and said, "Mom, was I an accident?"

Let me tell you, hearing those words from Eldest Cherub was one of the closest things to heartbreaking I have ever heard. And I found myself wondering how to answer my oldest child truthfully, honestly and clearly, but letting him know how happy we are that we have him in our world, and that we wouldn't change anything, ever.

And then it was there - out of the clear blue - it just popped into my head. I don't know how. I don't know why. I don't know from where. But there it was - my answer - So simple and true. Honest and forthright and explanatory. All in 6 little words. "No Honey, you were a surprise." I was so proud of myself, what a brilliant response. But Eldest Cherub didn't understand. "Great, a surprise. Same thing as an accident." "No, No, not the same thing at all. An accident is something that happens unexpectedly and you are upset or sad that it happens. A surprise is something that happens unexpectedly and you are thrilled that it happens. So, you see, you were a surprise, NOT an accident."

And VERY slowly, you could see it, he understood. He was happy. He got his answer, but it was good.

We did it. We are OK. We are figuring it out. We are making it work.

ADORABLE

Check out Lauren Nicole Gifts - yet again, hosting another great Giveaway - Head on over before Midnight on May 7 and you could win this gorgeous "Loose Lilly" Bag.

If you entered the Body Shop Giveaway from Fabulous Fun Finds and didn't win, NEVER FEAR . . . You now have a second chance at that great gift basket! Click here to get to Mama's Money Savers and enter. Giveaway deadline is May 11. Plus, you'll find some other real great Giveaways as well.

Found a cute blog that I hadn't seen before and she is doing a SURPRISE Giveaway. Click here to get to Jiggin' In J Crew and enter. Although it is a surprise, she mentioned that you can wear it, it's pretty, it will be made by her and you can not only pick your color, but help design it too. Be sure to check it out before May 2.

Fabulous Fun Finds is hosting a Sophie's Chic Boutique $30 Shopping Spree Giveaway - I know that $30.00 doesn't sound like much anymore, but you can actually purchase one of these great items, and that will actually cover the cost. Hurry over, Giveaway ends May 4 at Midnight PST. Below is a quick sample of her bags, but really go and check it out because they have women's stuff and children's stuff and, and and.

Check out the Giveaway over at Sherbert Blossom. Don't know how i found this one, but I did. Head on over using this link and you can enter to win a $50.00 gift certificate from Goldsmith Jewelers. Contest ends May 5.