Sunday, June 28, 2009

They Just Don't Make Them Like They Used To (Part 2)

So, as it goes in the world of Me and Mr. P, our smelly septic saga continues. As you read in my last post about our lovely leachfield, we thought that our Power-Super Shock Miracle Cure was working. This was after our three out of 5 sunny days that we have had in the month of June. I suppose that it is not the fault of the procedure we are trying, but the fact that Mother Nature seems to be either suffering from Dementia and has forgotten that we exist in this little corner of the earth, or she is VERY angry with me and Mr. P for some unknown assault we have made on nature.

I admit, we are not so green, but we are trying. I sit each day and like a little prayer, talk to her in hopes that she will hear my pleas. I have begged, cajoled and even tried to barter. I have promised to plant a tree, recycle more and even will buy a hybrid car if this will make her happy and send some warming, drying sunshine our way. I do not think she is listening. Either that, or she enjoys this little competition I have seemed to create. I guess everyone needs to get their kicks somehow.

You see, Mother Nature and I have this seemingly neverending, competitive game we play. On the allotted schedule each week, I run from toilet to sink to shower and dump the exact measured amount of product down the drains. And each week, as soon as I am done, Mother Nature dumps a deluge of rain upon us for the next 5 days. I picture her often, wherever she may be, shimmying and laughing in sheer pleasure, as she purposely and vengefully sabotages our project. It is making me crazy! (As you can see by the fact that I actually think that Mother Nature has a well thought-out, vengeful plan against us.)

Next week, we will hit our 1 month mark. The "expert" did tell us that it would probably take 2 months in our case because our system is so far gone. This news, at least, still gives us the glimmer of hope that this will work and we have not wasted all the money gone into this procedure, just to have to end up in the hell of replacing the system that we were/are trying to avoid.

So for the next month, I will continue to play this little game with Mother Nature. I will run from drain to drain each week, treating our system and then sitting in wait for the rain to flow. I will continue to pray, beg and cajole in hopes that Dear Mother Nature will FINALLY decide to take pity on this poor wretched soul.

I will still live my life like a Pilgrim, using minimal water, eating off paper with plastic, staring into the abyss of the yellow toilet bowls regularly and showering under the watchful eye of the Shower Nazi. I have actually gotten used to going out with conditioner left in my hair, half shaved legs and a mediocre body wash at best. I have no idea how ANYONE can fully clean themselves in under 5 minutes. Believe me, I've tried, but my body just takes WAY too much maintenance as far as cleaning goes.

On a lighter note, as Mr. P and I continue to make our weekly trek to the laundry mat, we are actually having fun. We have decided to make a game of it. We are trying a new laundry mat each week. We rate them. We have an intricate scoring system based on size, cleanliness, cost, amenites offered (some of them don't even have a bathroom) and timeframe of getting the laundry done. We have gone out of our way to talk to the people that are there and find out about who they are, where they are from and what brings them to the laundry mat. We have met some interesting people and have heard some extraordinary stories. It would make for an interesting documentary - I kid you not.

We have turned this weekly outing into our "Date Morning". As we wait for our washers and dryers (Yes, oftentimes we have taken more than half of the machines), and as we use our finely-tuned system of sorting and folding, we are having fun. We talk about things that we usually don't have the time for, we joke and laugh, and we meet and greet our fellow laundrymatters. We have taken to sometimes dropping our laundry into the machines and then running out to get all of those in attendance coffee and donuts. These people love us. I guess they don't get coffee and donuts that often. It makes us feel good.

So, my friends, as our smelly septic saga continues, I guess there is always that silver lining in the clouds. Mr. P and I have learned some new things about each other and have discovered ways of life that we could never imagine living. We have heard stories and sagas that make us grateful for each other, our children and what we have. We have met people that we never would have stopped to talk to before and we have discovered a way to spend a little us time in the process of being productive. So as Mother Nature and I continue our battle, at least I have my weekly dates with Mr. P to look forward to.

As usual, To Be Continued . . .


Anonymous said...

I'm surprised you still sound as cheerful as you do. I would be outside with a chainsaw threatening Mother Nature to leave me alone or all the trees get it!

DMLD said...

Now that's a thought! And apparently my begging is getting me nowhere quickly!

the Preppy Princess said...

Oh my word, the Laundry Mat rating system is hysterical! I only wish you didn't have to keep coping with the problem creating the need for the rating system.

Sending you another smile and hope that it improves,

Miss Janice said...

Lord have are definitely handling this better than I would!